I Can't Stop Loving You
by PonderRose
Summary: Christian goes unknowingly back in time to high school after Anastasia dies in childbirth (high school is where he and Anastasia first met). Now he has to navigate his adolescence with all his memories intact. Which of course is fine with him, so long as he can be near his wife once more. Christian's P.O.V. Supernatural elements. Enjoy!
1. Since We've Been Apart

"_Teddy… _

_This is a story from before you were born…_

_It's the story of how Mommy and Daddy met. _

_You see, it all began eleven years ago. Mommy and Daddy first spoke to each other in our senior year of high school. We were both seventeen…."_

I arrived at the gravesite with a bouquet of roses. Red- her favorite. I wasn't aware how long I'd been standing there or when exactly it began to rain. All I could see, could feel was their names on the gravestone. Anastasia and Theodore Grey…. Our only child, and dearly beloved wife, who died in childbirth.

I didn't even move an inch when my sister, Mia, arrived; she carried a bouquet as well. She paused at the sight of me in front of the grave before approaching herself. The flowers she was carrying gently laid on top of the slab. Neither of us looked at each other when she finally broke the silence.

"Has Mom called you yet?" "Don't know. Haven't checked my phone." "She's hosting a remembrance dinner this evening. You know she wanted to check in with you. Instead of constantly inventing excuses for why you never answer your phone or are always late, why don't you just come here earlier?" A belief moment of silence. "I did; I've been here since dawn," I said, and she looked at me.

Once Mia had paid respects to Anastasia, she left me there without another word. After some more time, I got down onto my knees in the damp grass. Placing both my hands on the slab, my lips leaned in to kiss it. Then, with both my hands still firmly pressed up against the marble, I laid down on top of it; my dark coat spreading out all around me. The rain was soaking my cotton shirt now, but I didn't care. I longed to be close… close to _her_.

Anastasia- my Anastasia Grey. Here you are, so close yet so far from me. You've been here for five years and it's never gotten easier; not one day. You were the one thing- the only thing- keeping me sane, keeping me viable. And now I'm constantly plagued, always wondering if there really is any chuck of "humanity" left inside of me? Or did you take it all with you? I wouldn't be surprised if you did; you were my "humanity". All of it.

I was numb….. too numb to even cry. I can't recall the last time I cried; I used to cry so much that I think I used up all my tears. Now my mind and body felt like an empty husk, only powered now by the love of her, for her. I bristled at the memory… People told me to move on, that it would get better with time… time would make everything better. But they lied- dear god, they lied to me.

Time was supposed to heal me, to bring color back into my dull, dull world. Time was the magical cure to it all- my profound and boundless suffering. Time… Time was on my side, they told me. My eyes lowered as I stared aimlessly out in front of me. But what they don't know… what no one knows… is that time has stood still, since we've been apart. There was no more "time" for me. No matter how hard I try…

"I can't stop loving you, Anastasia… wife."


	2. Return to Where We Once Met

It's warm. That's the first thought that went through my mind. Warm….. and dry. But no; that's not right. It was raining a second ago and I was laying on her gravestone… drenched to the bone and completely numb to the freezing cold. For some reason though, something felt off. My clothes felt dry and the atmosphere was warm and stale. Like a warm spring day…

My eyes fluttered opened slowly, and that's when I realized something else that was wrong. I didn't feel like I was laying down; my body was upright like I was standing straight up. Though, I don't remember getting off Anastasia's grave. Maybe….. maybe I'm entering into a dream as I drifted off to sleep there on the cold, hard ground. Just to check it, I tried moving my fingers slightly. No….. It felt too real; this couldn't be a dream, I thought as my eyes opened wider. Then it hit me- the sun. Sunlight poured onto my face as I stood there motionless. One eyes closed as I inwardly winced at the sudden and mildly painful brightness. Sun? But no, why? Had I fallen to sleep and woke up after a while? Had the rain stopped? But that wouldn't explain why I'm upright.

Once my eyes were fully open, I felt my jaw start to drop in shock as I looked down at myself. I wasn't… I wasn't in my black, mourning suit; the one I wore to the cemetery. I was wearing… my high school uniform! The tan blazer with those uncomfortable dark blue pants, and black slip-on shoes. I hated this uniform with a passion; I destroyed it the moment I graduated. I have no clue why my first reaction upon seeing it was disgust; it should have been bewilderment. And I was seconds later. My….. my school uniform? Why would I have this on of all things? This can't be a dream; it feels too real. It's the exact same as if I was awake- there's no difference. But still, I can't understand….. I don't understand. What am I doing here in my uniform?

Glancing up, I saw that I was standing in the middle of one of my old high school hallways; one on the second floor beside the many windows. That's where the sunlight was coming from….. I didn't move- I couldn't move right away; I merely stared down the hall at… everyone. Students all dressed like me, moving around and ignoring my presence. I know this, I realized upon gawking at the familiar seen. I know this place… I've been here before, thirteen years ago. This… this happened in the past; I remember this. Then the notion occurred to me- could this be a memory? Could I be reliving a memory? But no, that doesn't make sense. I have no specific memory of standing stationary in the hall like this; I only recollect this place and uniform in general. This place… this place, where I met…..

What happened next felt like an eternity to me, though I'm sure it was only a few seconds in reality. My upper half unconsciously spun around to face behind me. Then… my eyes shot open wider than they ever had. There- there walking in front of me was… was… My heart stopped as tears came to my eyes for the first time in years. Light and color suddenly flooded back into my vision; the air felt breathable again. My whole being felt a thousand times lighter, and every fiber in my body began to pull.

"ANASTASIA!" I yelled at the top of my lungs; my voice echoing through the whole school I'm positive. She suddenly froze as I raced as fast as my legs could go to her. I slammed into her so hard that she stumbled backwards a few steps, losing one of her shoes in the process. My arms wrapped around her as tight as humanly possible, holding her intimately up against me. She let out a gasp in utter surprise which I didn't hear. All I could hear was the pounding of my heart ringing in my ears.

"Anastasia! I'm here; I'm right here! Don't leave me!" "H-huh?!" Once again, I didn't hear; I was too busy soaking up the experience, enjoying it with all I am. Here, she's here- perfection in human form was in my arms once again. And I don't know how I'd ever let her go now. She felt so warm pressed up against me. The smell of her hair, the softness of her cheek, her petit figure. I adored it all; every inch of her. I would have given anything to spend the rest of eternity like that with her too; just holding her. Hearing her sigh, safe here in my arms.

The brightest, most joyful smile drew over my quivering lips; my cheeks were both well tear-stained by now. "I can't believe it's you; you're back. You're back…" I exclaimed more to myself than her; I just wanted to revel in the fact that she was here with me. Oh, how I dreamt and longed for this moment. I never stopped loving her, adoring her essence- that was simply impossible. And now, here I was- in heaven and reunited with her. God, I hoped I died and this was actually heaven; then I'd never have to leave her again. What I would have gave… what I would have sacrificed.

"W-what are you doing?!" After a pause, which was much too brief, Anastasia finally gasped; she sounded more stunned than angry. My grip instinctively tightened around her when she began to wiggle. "No! No, don't move! Let's stay! Just let me stay like this," I wasn't asking; I was begging. Clearly I wasn't ready to let her go anywhere yet. Honestly, I'm never letting her out of my sight again. She's here to stay with me, my mind already resolved; she's not going anywhere. She's my wife, my muse, my perfection personified. We belonged together.

"W-What?!" "Oh, Anastasia; you have no idea how much I've missed you. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me; you brought me so much happiness," more tears on my end. "W-what are you talking about? I don't even know you! Let go! Let go of me!" Her voice was steadily increasing. As if not paying attention to the words she said, it took all my mental and physical strength to reluctantly retract my arms; though I wasn't ready to let go of her just yet. She pulled away slightly and I took both her hands in mine. Man, did she look startled and even a little scared. But I simply continued to smile- how could I not smile at her?

"Let me look at you. Just let me look for a little longer…. Oh god, you're so beautiful; I'd forgotten how radiant you are in person." "What are you…..? Let go! I said let go!" More pulling from her part. My hands lifted hers up for a kiss, then I could no longer contain myself. I gently but quickly pulled her back into my arms, lifting her up off the ground this time. She's so light! Good god, did she eat anything ever? But then, I guess angels were supposed to be lighter than humans.

That's when my wife really started to struggle. "Let go! Help! Someone help me!" Help? Why is my wife calling for help? She's just being hugged by her adoring husband. Why would she try and break free? "Hey, man! Let her go!" A standbyer put his firmly hand on my shoulder; he approached from behind without me noticing. I finally saw the considerable crowd of high school students forming around us, all watching me with confusion and a little contempt. I still wasn't ready to let Anastasia go, but the situation was beyond bizarre to me. Hesitantly, I carefully set her back down on her feet. It tore my heart in half to see her immediately scramble like five feet away from me. Two girls, one blonde and the other a redhead, caught her by the shoulders. Their eyes went from scanning her over worriedly to sending me death glares.

"Anny? You ok?" The redhead asked my wife. "What's your problem, Grey?!" The blonde hissed at me, not bothering to hide the venom in her tone. Wait… After getting a good look at her, I recognized her to be….. is that Kate? Anastasia's best friend from high school? Yes! I would have snapped my fingers if I didn't look like a creep enough already. All three girls were wearing the female equivalent of my uniform. That's when I also noticed that Anastasia looked younger- much younger. They all did. I'd say she was around seventeen- the same age when we started dating back in high school. And we were the same age… Wait a minute. If Anastasia- my wife and soulmate- is seventeen right now, then I must be…. Oh… Uh oh.

"What do you think you were doing, dude? Attacking an innocent girl like that?" A random guy- I think I knew him at one point but couldn't remember his name now- accused me. His tone had this mocking way about it; I knew he wasn't serious, which made me was to simultaneously punch him in the face. Suppose some stranger really did hug Anastasia against her will, and he had the nerve to mock instead of help her? I had to resist the urge.

"Uh, you ok, Christian?" Another guy- this one I also recognized but couldn't name- asked me in a more concerned tone. I flinched up, instantly darting my stare back to Anastasia. Am I ok? I'm in paradise. She's here, after all. Still, even my wife looked a bit terrified and enraged at me now. "What's wrong with you? You've totally ignored me up til now," she spat. That's not tru-….! Wait. Actually, thinking back, she's right. We went to the same high school for three years and never said a word to each other until mid-year grade eleven. Different friend groups and all that. Hang on… She just said I've ignored her until now, which I suppose I did in the past. The past… So that means…

My mouth dropped open dumbfounded once more. "Grey? You ok?" Second guy repeated. No; don't tell me… No, of course not; that's impossible. For Anastasia to say that and mean it, that must mean that this is in the past. And since I have no memory of this event, it must mean it's a new event. Which means…. But… But no- time travel is simply impossible. And I couldn't have traveled back in time. I was still wearing my school uniform; the last thing I remember putting on was my suit to visit Anastasia's grave. If this was the past and I'm really here… That must mean that I'm a thirty year old man trapped inside a seventeen year old's body. No… Just no. That's utterly impossible. I went to university- I have some knowledge of science and I know that this kind of thing only happens in science fiction.

My eyes rolled up to gaze upon that flawless being, that perfect creature. But she's definitely not thirty; neither is Kate. And my body doesn't feel like it did this morning. Am I positive this is not a dream? I gave myself a low-key pinch just to test it. No, the pain was real….. and, her warmth was real. That means…. That must mean…. With all eyes on us confusedly, and mine locked immovably onto my wife, no one said anything immediately. My jaw merely hung open and my eyes gigantic, and on her- always on her.

Somehow, without my knowledge or consent, I've come back in time to before Anastasia and I met. And I remember everything from our former lives….

_I remembered_.


	3. Look at My Life

"What's going on here?!"

"He just randomly hugged me!"

"He groped Anny!"

"Christian's acting… really weird."

It took me a second to come back from space; all I did for a minute or so was stare at my wife and think- think about my predicament. But that didn't last long. A very familiar voice caught me off guard. I knew that tone right away- Vice Principal Grinds. Here's a fun fact, kids: turns out you never forget the sound of your vice principal, especially when they yell a lot. I can't think of a good example at the moment. He glared right at me, standing much too close to Anastasia for my liking. She was always intimidated by him, and he knew and exploited it.

"Mr. Grey- can you tell me what you're gawking it?" Vice Principal Grinds demanded firmly, planting his humongous hands on his hips. Now, I was the CEO of my own company by now and certainly not used to being barked at in such a manner. "Mr. Grey?" He growled when I neglected to answer right away. I had to give myself a mental kick. Right, I'm not in my thirty year old, adult body- I'm in this seventeen year old body. I was in no position like this to use my authority back at Grinds. After grinding my teeth together, I forced myself into a more relaxed posture; it was still pretty stiff until then.

"U-uh n-nothing sir." "Sir? Are you mocking me, young man?" His arms angrily folded. Young man? Now there's something I haven't heard in oh say, twelve years. "N-no, sir! Of course not!" Some of the other students chuckled at this, for some reason. Grinds looked anything but impressed, his frown growing.

"Now what's this I hear about you accosting a student?" Heh, he actually used the word "accosting" correctly in a sentence; I guess he wasn't such a total moron. I thought so all the way through high school. "I'm sorry…. I mean I'm sorry, Anastasia; I don't….. know what came over me," I couldn't look her in the eye while saying this. No, I knew exactly what overcame me. Absolute, unconditional, endless love for my wife. _My wife_. Of course turning away, I didn't see her reaction to this, though I prayed she wasn't too mad; I'd never do anything to intentionally anger her.

"Are you alright, Miss Steele?" I heard Grinds ask my wife. "Y-yeah," she sounded still a bit shaky, and I had to fight the urge to run up and embrace her again. To tell her that there was nothing to fear and everything would be alright. It would be alright; I was here now….. I was here with her once again. Even under these circumstances, I couldn't help but smile- truly smile. I was just so unspeakably happy to be so near her again. And if it sounds like I'm obsessed, can you blame me? I haven't seen my wife in five years, and the last time I saw her alive, she was bleeding out on a hospital bed.

I think Grinds was about to lay into me some more but the bell rang first. Ah, I remembered that too; that buzzing that was much too loud. I heard it practically every week day for three straight years. It surprised me how much I vividly recalled all these things, despite not thinking about high school in many years. Definitely not since Anastasia's and my wedding.

"Alright! All of you, get to class! I want this hallway cleared!" Vice Principal Grinds bellowed. My head moved up like a shot when Anastasia took more steps away from me. No… no….. With one last glance my way, she spun around along with her friends to leave. No, good god no! I just found her! I just got her back after years of waiting, dreaming… She couldn't leave me now; I felt like I'd have a panic attack if she left my sight. Without thinking, my feet started running and my hand reached out for her. "Anastasia!"

This made her stop. My wife spun around again to face me, this time with much more annoyance in her expression. "Would you stop calling me "Anastasia"? My name's Anny." "And you should know that cause we've been in the same class for a year and a half, Christian," Kate folded her arms. That made it click inside my mind. Oh yeah; I did forget that. Anastasia liked to be called "Anny" until she started masters. I only started calling her "Anastasia" a year before we got married. My face softened naturally upon the girls.

"Sorry, Anny," god, I just loved to look at her. She was the most interesting thing in the world to me, though I didn't think so at the time back in high school. I didn't even talk to Anastasia before we got assigned on a group project together. I thought she was boring as paper back then; boy, was I dumb.

"Seriously, what's wrong with you, Grey? You've been acting really weird today," Kate eyed me once over. "Uh, it's…. um, nothing," I wasn't used to being this wordless either. Usually I said what I felt to Anastasia, and she to me; we were a very communicative couple that way. But now I felt like I couldn't tell her anything, though I desperately wanted to. Though what sane person would believe that someone's mind has traveled back in time, but not their adult body? It sounded crazy even to me, and I was: a thirty year old in a teenager's figure. This was like Freaky Friday, single person addition.

"You four! To class, now!" Grinds hollered from the end of the hallway. We all flinched, and Anastasia's friends rushed her off. I followed right behind, partly because I had no idea which class we had next; I never carried a school schedule in my backpack… for some reason. Looking back, that was pretty stupid of me. But what could I expect of my teenage self? Hopefully a lot more than this.

They led me to a classroom I recognized; I think I had math in here. I did know the teacher when I saw him, despite not remembering his name. He was this lanky figure with long, greying brown hair; I don't remember him particularly liking me. Anastasia and the others quickly sat down at their desks, with my wife sitting near an open window. Without hesitation, I went to take the free desk beside her, conveniently forgetting I had an assigned seat for this class. Anastasia blinked a bit confused when I about to sit down in the vacant chair.

"And what do you think you're doing, Mr. Grey?" My head dashed up to Mr… Uh, Mr. What's His Name. He was frowning my way and had his arms crossed in an unimpressed fashion. "Uh, sitting down, sir?" I answered honestly. Jesus, did they all have to talk to me so condescendingly? I don't know how I ever put up with that for three years back in the day.

"Have you forgot the seating arrangement? Your desk is over there," using his ballpoint pen, he pointed to a desk in the middle of the classroom near the back. Obviously I frowned. This was humiliating and infuriating, being treated like such a no-account child. What he didn't know was that this was my first time seeing my beloved angel of a wife in five years and I wanted to be as close to her as possible. I'd let him know so too.

"I want to sit here today, sir," I said, straightening up and locking eyes with him. I think this show of defiance startled him a bit, since his face went from stunned to irritated. "I didn't ask where you want to sit. You'll sit where I've assigned you, Mr. Grey," he fired back. Ok, that got under my skin. My body may be young, but I had the mind of a grown man; he had no right to talk to me like that. The only reason I moved was because Anastasia flashed me an equally annoyed glare. In that moment, I wanted to grab her, to hug her. But I had to settle with a long, defeated sigh. Without another word, I took my destinated seat much too far from my wife in my opinion.

"Alright! Now we can finally begin. As you remember, we started on variables last week…" Mr. What's His Name started to scribble something down on the blackboard and everyone began taking notes, including Anastasia. All the while, I kept staring at her in an inconspicuous way. Christ, I just loved to look at her; I know I've thought that before but hell, it's so damn true. She felt so close to me for the first time in five years that I could almost touch her… I could almost feel her. I can't stop loving you, dear wife. You are so precious to me; no words in the English language are adequate enough to justly describe the depths of my devotion to you.

That made me think… Here I was, totally and utterly enraptured with her, my darling Anastasia. And yet she had no regard for me; at least not yet. We only started dating at the end of grade eleven, and even then, things were super slow. It took us a long time to get to where we were, and that only made our love grow more powerful and passionately. My wife loved me… The Anastasia who died giving birth to our son adored me as much as I her. But here she was, completely estranged from me.

Now what? What do I do? And also, how long will I be like this? Hopefully forever, my eyes ogled Anastasia once more. I don't care if I have to relive my late teenage years and early twenties; so long as I'm with her once again, I could care less. But that still left the problem: how would I get Anastasia to return my feelings? To know my feelings? Physically we're the same but mentally, we're years apart. On top of which, I know absolutely everything about her, while she knows nothing about me now. I'd have to make Anastasia fall in love with me all over again…

I don't know why but, in that instant, the horrible memory of my wife dying on the hospital bed zoomed through my mind. It was so abrupt and horrific that I almost threw myself off my chair. Everyone looked at me, including the teacher; then silently turned back to the lesson. That's… That's right- Anastasia died. She died in childbirth, along with our son. Would… Would that…..? Is there even the possibility that could happen again? Even if we never did get pregnant, she always was physically weak and collapsed a few times before. Anastasia was never really that strong and was prone to getting sick if she overexerted herself.

I was biting my pinky nail so hard while watching her, that I thought it might snap off. No- absolutely not. I can't live through that again; I adamantly refuse to lose her like that ever again. Never again. I was here, I was back and this time, I know- I'm aware of her fragile condition. I could protect her; I _would _protect her. I'd keep her safe; nothing would ever happen to her again- not while I'm here. I'll keep her alive this time, alive and close to me. There's nothing I wouldn't do…

It suddenly dawned on me that it may be the reason I'm back here. Maybe I came back to keep her alive this time around. It could be my second chance of happiness, and hers to stay with me and watch our son grow together. As far as I see it, I had one job now- keep Anastasia safe. She was my heart and I'd be her armor. In this regard, hindsight is a truly miraculous thing. And while doing so, I'd live a simple, normal teenage life; I'd get to enjoy these youthful years with her all over again. I decided then and there that is this was a blessing; getting sent back in time was the best thing that ever happened to me, aside from meeting and marrying my wife.

I looked at my beloved yet again, feeling much like a kid sneaking another piece of candy from the candy jar. It brought me so much joy… so, so much. What can I say? I just love my wife- that's all. Sneaking peeks at her was like sneaking bits of the world's best candy. It was addictive. I knew when I looked at her. I simply, effortlessly, organically knew… I was too naïve, too stupid, too blind to see it at the time, but I was wiser now; much wiser. I know that whenever I look at her, I'm looking at my life. My whole life, my future was sitting in the same room with me. For the first time in five years, I felt complete again- finally satisfied. And all I want to do is hold her; but I'd have to settle for second best at the moment. Look at her….. Just look at her. Look at my wife.

Look at my life.


	4. Worth the Wait

Ok, first thing's first. I have to formally introduce myself to my heh, wife. I'll introduce myself and apologize for earlier, though I wasn't sorry in the slightest. But Anastasia was very conservative about physical contact back in high school; nothing religious or anything, she's just like that. It took us months of dating to even hug, and forget about holding hand- though we did later on. She was probably mortified because of earlier and would avoid me like the plague if I didn't clear the waters- the last thing in the world I wanted.

Luckily for me, Kate had club activities this lunch hour and her redhead friend- still can't remember the name- wasn't around. I knew exactly where to find Anastasia: in the school gardens. She liked to eat under the big oak tree in the courtyard; something we used to do together in grade twelve. Right as rain- I turned the corner in the same hallway I "woke up" to find her already sitting down there, peacefully eating her lunch. This was the era before smart phones, so she was reading a novel in place of being glued to her phone. That's my woman, er girl! Oh yeah, she wasn't a woman yet; and I technically wasn't a man yet either- physically anyway. To be honest, I wasn't sure how to act like a teenage boy again. Once a high-functioning adult, always a high-functioning adult. But I knew Anastasia liked dominant yet kind men, just like that guy from Pride and Prejudice… What's his name? Darcy? Who knows.

My heart cracked even more when she flinched unexpectedly at my sudden arrival. I'll admit, it was painful seeing her react to me like this. "Uh, h-hi." Hi? Is that the best I can do? This is my wife we're talking about. She deserves better than just "hi". Of course she immediately frowned, which I knew she would. It may have been five years, but I still knew Anastasia like the back of my hand. I was expecting this initial interaction to be agonizing, at least for me.

"What are you doing here?" I detected a tone in her unimpressed voice. "I wanted to apologize….. for earlier." "Oh? You mean when you grabbed me all creepy like in front of everyone?" Ok, well when she puts it like that…. "Y-yeah. I'm really sorry; it was a weird moment for me," I could say that again. It's not every day grown men wake up in teenage bodies. Anastasia didn't look the least bit convinced.

"What's your deal, Christian? All those things you said… It was you who said I was super boring last month, remember?" Jesus Christ; I did, didn't I? No wonder it took us so long to start dating. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with my teenage self either. Ugh, why did my seventeen year old self have to be such a moron? This was beyond painful.

"Uh, yeah….. I'm sorry about that to. I didn't mean it." "Sure sound like you meant it," her lovely arms folded. Wished they were wrapping around me instead. "I am truly sorry I embarrassed you and made you feel uncomfortable, Anast-… Anny. I'm also sorry if I hurt your feelings last month; I was an idiot." "Yes, you were," she spat under her breath. Seeing a window of opportunity, I sat down beside her; close but not too close. I didn't want to weird her out any more than she already was.

"You still didn't answer my question. What are you doing out here?" I came to see you, I wanted to say, but of course refrained. Think, Christian; what would teenage you say? What can I say that doesn't sound uber creepy? "Well uh… no reason. I was just wondering why you're eating lunch out here alone?" Really? That was the best I could think of? Well done, Christian. I can see how you became a CEO of a company; I rolled my eyes inwardly.

Anastasia looked half-insulted by this remark but chose to ignore any insinuation behind it, which I meant none. "Why do you care?" Because you're my precious wife and I love you? "Uh, well I usually see you with Kate. So I was just surprised to see you out here by yourself," what a lie. But a noble lie, if that counts. "Y-you see me?" She blinked at me scandalized. "U-uh! W-well when I'm walking by the hall, and you two are always together."

She eyed me for a second, giving me the opportunity to examine her gorgeous, sapphire eyes. "Oh, I see… Do you… like Kate?" "What?! No! I mean, no. She's a lovely person but… she's not my type," that was my poor attempt at a save. I can't even imagine being with another woman, neverless liking one. There was only one for me, and she was currently sitting beside me. My wife gave a little nod, as if to be considering to herself. Another glad smile bloomed across my lips. The sound of her voice…. She's talking to me; she's talking to _me_. I could listen to her speak all day.

"H-hey, I have another question. Why did… you hug me earlier?" Her cheeks blushed in the most adorable way. Oh, this sweet, sweet girl. "I can't… really say. It won't happen again," not unless you want it to. Thankfully, Anastasia seemed satisfied with this, glancing down at her book and still blushing. I saw another opportunity for conversation here.

"What are you reading?" "Oh, this? It's Jane Austen's Emma." Of course it's Jane Austen; her favorite author. Still, I couldn't let on. "Oh! Are you reading that for a class?" I faked ignorance, forgetting for a second that we had the same English class. Oops. "Uh, no? It's just for fun. Austen's my favorite author." "Really? Which one of her books do you like best?" Pride and Prejudice, but I wanted her to just keep talking to me. "Well, I like Pride and Prejudice. Just read it again last year. Have you read any of her books?" "Yes," I responded absentmindedly; no, I hadn't read any of her works in grade eleven. Not until later in college, but she didn't know that.

"Oh!" I just savored the way Anastasia's face lit up. Huh, maybe honestly is the best policy. "Yes, I just read Sense and Sensibility. But you're right, nothing can beat Pride and Prejudice." Oh, the thrill in her eyes; something I wish I could bottle up and keep close to my heart forever. "Really?! You're like the only other person I've met who's actually read either book. I wish the literary club would read more classic literature….."

Oh, that's right! Anastasia wanted to join the literature club; we had to join a club for at least one semester in order to graduate. We both held off for different reasons; Anastasia eventually joined the book club and I the football team. But to hell with that! If she wanted the literary club, that's the club we'd join. Only, I can't remember but wasn't there a problem with the literature club before Anastasia joined? I think so….. but I can't remember for sure. Maybe my wife can fill me in.

"Oh, is that the club you're in?" I asked, kind of unsure if she had joined already or not. Ok, so maybe I didn't know absolutely everything about my beloved angel. Her beautiful head shook. "I really wanted to join the literature club but they didn't have any signup events last semester. I don't know if I should try again…" "If that's how you feel, then you should definitely try again," I tried to sound as encouraging as possible, which only backfired on me when she blinked to me surprised. "I-I mean, why not at least check out the literature club room after school?"

Anastasia all of a sudden gave me a suspicious look. "What?" My voice cracked a little; man, this was weird. But I was still in heaven, so who cares? "Why are you being so nice to me?" "Huh?" "You've never talked to me this much before. Why now, all of a sudden?" Oh! I see. Of course this sudden interest looks suspicious. I practically ignored her up until now, because once again, I was a total idiot. Looks like I'd have to dial it back, like a lot. But I really, really didn't want to. I wanted to help her, to be there for her, to do everything in my power to make her life easier. The way she makes mine easier. The question is how to do that while still seeming like a normal, adolescent kid? They definitely didn't prepare me for this in university!

"Uh, I don't know. I just….. I just…" Oh, way to back yourself into a corner there, Grey. Good job! Really on you're A-game today. Still, I tried to salvage the situation by flashing her a soft, yet not too enduring grin. "I just want to, you know?" "It still seems kinda weird. I thought you didn't like me." "Oh no, Anny; not you. Why wouldn't I like you?" "Because you said I'm really boring?" Her eyebrow lifted. I sighed again, deeply disappointed with my past self. If I met "him" today, I'd knock him out. Heh, maybe I should just look into a mirror and then punch it.

"I was wrong. Any girl who reads Jane Austen is anything but boring." And she laughed- she laughed for the first time since I saw her. It melted my heart into a rippling puddle. Oh, her laugh. Like warm, pink, bubble gum clouds. "Haha, lots of people here would disagree with you. Well, at least you have good tastes in literature," Anastasia was so entirely cute in that moment. Cute, and also incredibly beautiful; she was versatile like that. "Thanks, Anny; you too."

I was about to say more when that insufferable bell decided to ring at the most inopportune moment. Damn frikin bell! I would swear under my breath but there's a lady present. Instead, Anastasia stood up, making me flinch alarmed. No! She's leaving again? No! No, no, no! We stay; we stay together, as much as humanly possible. "Anny?!" "I have to get to class." "Oh! Then I'll join you," I immediately got up as well. She flashed me a look of confusion. "Don't you have homeroom now?" Do I? Ugh, why didn't I bring a stupid schedule with me? What good was it at home?

"U-uh right. W-what do you have now?" "Ugh, home ec," Anastasia's eyes rolled. Home economics? Good! That sounds much safer than shop class, which I also took some time in high school; can't remember the year. "Ok then. I'll walk you to class," I instinctually offered; anything to spend a bit more precious time together. Again, more confusion in her expression. "But… our classes are on the opposites sides of the school. And the second bell is going to ring soon." "Oh, uh right." How the heck was I supposed to find which classroom I'm supposed to be in? Couldn't I just skip? I mean I've already graduated once. But I guess that was in my original time line. Huh, I wonder if the school would call my parents if I did skip class? I remember Elliot getting in a lot of trouble for ditching back in high school. Being a grown man in a young body was literally no fun! Unless Anastasia was around; then it was nothing but bliss.

My heart leaped to my throat when my wife suddenly flashed me a smile- the most perfect smile ever smiled by humankind. "You're….. Christian Grey, right? We're the same age, aren't we?" "Y-yes! And yes, I'm Christian Grey," I mirrored her flawless expression. "I'm Anny Steele," she formally introduced herself to me. Heh, my wife was meeting me like this for the first time- oh, the irony. Yes, I knew who she was; I knew everything. Well, almost everything. And I was more than interested to see what would happen with the literature club. They better let her join or… oh right, I don't have lawyers to sick on people in this timeline yet. Oh well, I'd take care of it. No one says "no" to Mrs. Anastasia Grey.

"It's very nice to meet you," I couldn't stop smiling at her. This was just too much. It was like she had lost her memory or something. We've done all this before, none of this was new to me. But to her… everything was young, green, and fresh. I'd have to do this in baby steps and somehow make myself comfortable with that. I couldn't just take her in my arms, no matter how much I desperately wanted to. This was it- I'd let her set the pace from now on. Course it wouldn't hurt with me befriending her sooner and letting her get to know me. Hopefully by the end of this year we'll be right on track, dating and everything. But until then, I'd just have to be patient- that's all. "Yes, same here," she smiled at me. She smiled…

Yes, my darling; take all the time you need. I can wait…. time just entered my reality again recently. I looked at you, my life, and with you came time.

You are well worth the wait, wife of mine.


	5. Old Friend

I want her. I want her in my arms. These thoughts went round and round in my head as I wandered through the hallways, trying to think where my beloved would be right now. Homeroom was agonizingly boring; I'd forgotten how dull high school could be. Apparently my next period was study period or a "spare"; I only knew this because my homeroom teacher told me so. With nothing else to do, I meandered the halls aimlessly. Though not aimlessly per se, I was searching- searching for a glimpse of my wife. God, I couldn't wait to see her again. My Anastasia, my life.

Only problem- I didn't know what class she had right now. I also didn't have her number at this point. Hell, I don't remember if I even had a cellphone at this age. When did I get my first phone? I remember it was a flipphone; the kind only drug dealers used in my current time. But I don't know when I first got it or even when I got Anastasia's number. She did have a phone, I recalled that correctly; though it was for emergency use only. This was the age when cellphone bills were extravagant and didn't have the internet on them yet. You basically made calls and the odd texts on them- that's it. So if I wanted to contact Anastasia again, it'd have to be in person. I'm more than happy with that.

My feet came to a soft halt in front of the same window where I earlier saw Anastasia sitting outside eating her lunch. It was empty now- damn. My fingers gently touched the windowsill as I continued to stare out. Nothing went through my mind right then, just pure, unadulterated desire….. Desire simply to see her come into view, just once more. And once again, I may sound like I'm justifying an unhealthy obsession with my dead wife; I can see how it would look like that. But key word "dead" wife. I don't care how it looks, even if I know what it might look like from an outside perspective. After five colorless years, I could stare at her forever now.

"Christian!" My head instinctively lifted to the direction of the voice. It was a young, male voice; one I instantly recognized. "How's it goin', man?" My eyes grew as he waved happily my way. "Tommy!" My own voice cracked in abrupt joy. Tommy O'Connell! My very best friend since middle school. Despite being so close back in the day, I hadn't seen him since Anastasia's funeral; he moved across the country. He was in my wedding party and flew out for the birth of our son. Our relationship really changed after my wife died; he was super helpful and supportive after the tragedy, but I simply pushed him away. I pushed everyone away. And now… First Anastasia and now Tommy…. A long, genuine smile came across my lips. Yes, this was a blessing; what happened to me- no matter how bizarre, was undoubtedly a blessing.

My first thought was to hug him, but seeing what happened earlier with my wife, I refrained. Instead I slammed one of my hands down on his shoulder enduringly and gave him a warm, little shake. "It's so good to see you again!" I couldn't help myself verbally; I was just so elated. Tommy, of course, flashed me the most puzzled face imaginable. "What do you mean? We just had class together this morning." "R-right!" I immediately retracted my hand. He gazed at me for a moment before mirroring my grin, shoving his pale hands into his pant pockets.

"So, I heard that you groped that Steele girl." "I would never! I mean I did grope anyone!" My brain went into automatic repair mode, only earning another confused glance from my best mate. "But…. you did hug her, didn't you? The whole class was talking about it." They were? Damn it all; why did high schoolers have to be so immature? Didn't they have better things to gossip about than me hugging my wife? It's then I suddenly remembered that I was rather popular, if I do say so myself. It's not that Anastasia wasn't well known either, but I was the more "popular" one in the relationship. That's not necessarily a good thing either; hence moments like this.

"Uh, it's a… complicated story," my hand awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. I loved Tommy and I know he loved me, but even he would think I'm insane if I told him the truth. "You wanna come over to my place? I'd been looking for you since spare started," well, he dropped that quickly. Though I knew it would come up again; one does not "simply" hug another student in high school and not explain it, especially if you're one of the "popular kids". But seeing as Anastasia was likely in class right now and I wouldn't see her until the next bell anyway, I took Tommy up on his offer. He lived in student residence for those from out-of-state; we used to go to his dorm and uh, party let's say. No, no sex- at least for me. But lots of other cringy adventures which I would never do nowadays. Pro-tip: never try to drink peanut butter on a dare- it never ends well.

Once there, I sat on the floor while Tommy took the bed; his room was pitiful. But then, I'm sure so was mine at this time; as such the lot of being a teenage boy. Dirty clothes everywhere, empty food containers, used tissues and lotion bottles, and ahem, magazines which shall not be named here. Fairly typical for any adolescent male. My best friend handed me a cold Coke before plopping himself on the bed and opening his own can. "Thanks," I grinned up at him. Ok, I'll admit, this felt great; I'd forgotten how roomy and comfy this place and situation was. Many a great hour had been passed here with Mr. O'Connell. Anastasia had her girl nights with Kate and her friends, while Tommy and I had our own guy pals and fun. This was something I didn't think about much in my later years of college and working life, but I did miss it. There's something about those later teenage years and early twenties that you can't get back. Don't get me wrong, being thirty is awesome too; so is being married to an angel like Anastasia. But this was special too, precious…. I could let myself enjoy this too.

After the first few sips, Tommy wiped his mouth and looked at me intently; even leaning forward a little. "Ok, spill it! What happened between you and Anny earlier?" "Nothing. Well….. not nothing; I just felt….. uh… I can't really explain it," my eyes scrolled down into the dark liquid in my soda can. "You don't… like her, do you? I thought you had a thing for Elena?" "Elena?" This made me blink. That name sounded familiar….

It took me a few seconds for my eyes to burst wide open. Oh Elena! Elena Linclon; yes, I know her. She had like the biggest crush on my all throughout high school, which I was obvious to until someone- I forget who- told me. I remember thinking she was kinda pretty and cool, but that all died once Anastasia and I started to date. That wasn't for a while though…. Now I felt absolutely nothing for her; I barely remember what she looked like. We hadn't seen each other since our second year of university. My head gave a concrete shake.

"No; no, I don't like Elena." "Really?! But you guys went out for frozen yogurt last week." We did? Oh great. How much did I forget over the years? Way too much it seems. "Uh, yeah…. She's just not my type," I uttered, rubbing the back of my neck once more. "And Anny is? But dude, you said she's as dull as paper. Why would you like Anny of all people?"

Now, I knew Tommy didn't mean anything bad by this. Hell, he was right. I did feel this way but when I was seventeen; that only changed with many years. But now, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone but my darling wife. Course I couldn't say that right now; it wouldn't make any sense to him. That's when I finally understood how much of myself I had to hide from this world in order to keep up this façade. And it would be hard too. I'd forgotten how to be a teenager; over the years, I'd matured- at least more than I was back then. I wasn't the same Christian as I was when I was a teenager; he and I were completely different people. Different interests and tastes…. Even the way we spoke and thought. I'd have to relive all these former years with a new, more mature mind. And I couldn't help but wonder if I could get away with it.

To test it, I grinned up at Tommy kindly and gently shook my head again. "I don't know; I just felt differently today. I saw her and…. realized just how beautiful she was with the sunlight on her hair and cheeks." I don't think my test worked, seeing as Tommy blinked at me in astonishment. "Dude, don't you mean "she's hot"?" He corrected me. See? Seventeen year old Christian and thirty year old Christian speak very differently. But I wasn't about to be deterred. Granted, Anastasia was hot; in that regard, he was most correct. But more than that, she was beautiful. She wasn't like a pinup girl; she was more like an oil painting. Her beauty was akin to soft, feminine voices; fresh, spring flowers; the first taste of homemade ice cream; that cozy feeling you get when you rest your head on a warm, clean pillow. All these little joys in life categorized her kind of beauty. Sure, any woman can be "hot", but her unique beauty was rare- very rare indeed.

But someone Tommy's age- the tender age of seventeen- cannot see nor understand such beauty. Appreciation for it came later in life, as one's tastes evolved. I merely nodded my head in agreement. "Sure, hot," my shoulder gave a casual shrug. To my surprise, Tommy's expression morphed into one of worry. His eyes straightened onto me seriously. "You know she has a boyfriend, right?"

A… boyfriend? I didn't even react right then; my mind went blank. Now, it would be foolish to get too jealous immediately. I know for a fact that Anastasia never kissed or went further with any guy in high school, including me- her boyfriend and eventual husband. It was purely emotional, whatever other relationships she had. Still, that didn't calm my suddenly spiked nerves. Thankfully, Tommy shut his eyes and leaned back up again the wall with his arms folded behind his head.

"Well, they're not dating yet, but it's just a matter of time." Ok, that helped- a little. But the green-eyed, very protective monster reared its ugly head in my mind. Anastasia was the most loyal spouse, so I knew there was nothing to worry about. But no matter how much I tried to rationalize it away, the horrid jealously was still there. And it demanded answers, now. I tried to look as calm and collected as possible when I began to pry.

"Uh…. yeah. Who is he again?" Names; I need names. "Dude, don't you know? It's so obvious- it's Paul uh, what's his last name? Clayton? Carton?" Tommy scratched his cheek thoughtfully. Paul! Ok, I remembered Paul. This big, buff brute on the football team. Yes, I remember now….. He most certainly had a thing for my angelic wife, though they never actually dated. I think he asked her out in grade eleven before we officially met, but I can't recall for sure. All I remember is that he was hanging around Anastasia a lot until I came along. Very possessive and a bit too handsy with her. True, he only hugged her once when he was drunk at a party, but still! That was much too much in my books and definitely would not repeat in this timeline. Especially considering that Anastasia wasn't impressed by it either. Nope; absolutely not. I'll deal with Paul; no need to worry about that.

"I know Paul," I said darkly, already feeling a surge of hatred for the man. It wasn't just because he liked Anastasia; he was an all-around jerk. But my wife- gotta love her- had this particular taste for dominant men. Paul fit that description well, though in all the wrong ways. Tommy opened one eye back down to me curiously.

"You ok, Grey? You're acting kind of weird today." "Oh yeah; I'm fine. This morning was just a weird one, but I'm alright now." "Good! Cause we got class in like five minutes," he jumped off the bed. We finished up our Cokes and tossed the cans in his recycle bin; at least he had enough sense to have one of those. Then, before leaving to hopefully find my dear wife, I gave my dear friend one last brilliant smile. My hand rested on his shoulder warmly once again and I gave a little squeeze.

"What?" Tommy flashed a side grin at me and cocked his head slightly. "Thanks, Tommy; thank you." "Thanks for what?" "For everything. This was nice." "Dude, we do this like every day." Good, was my only thought; this was something I'd really enjoy reliving again. "I'll see you tomorrow then?" I ventured to ask, not taking my hand away just yet. It felt so good to be so close to him again, so near this wonderful man- this supremely precious friend. Tommy didn't respond right away, instead simply watching me for a brief moment. Then his grin only grew. "You sure you're alright, Christian?" "Yes; oh yes, Tommy."

I'm better than I've been in five whole years.


	6. Without My Ever Noticing It

The last bell rang and I finally saw her again- that supremely perfect being. She was standing stationary in front of a closed door and wore a conflicted expression. Immediately I wanted to run up to her, wrap my arms around her, and press my little darling close against me. But I knew better. I'd have to settle for being merely around her right now. Heh, the same woman who I used to listen breathe beside me as we slept was so close, yet so out of my reach. She was like the sun that way. And I'm addicted to her light.

My heart instantly dropped like a rock when she finally opened the door, only to freeze and frown. Anastasia! I ran- literally ran- up to her side; I couldn't stop my feet from moving on their own accord. She wasn't happy, and that was enough reason for me to race to her. Upon reaching her side, I too gazed into the surprisingly empty room. There were boxes, the odd desk, and chairs everywhere, but no literary club members. Then it came flooding back to me. That's right, the literary club wasn't running this year due to lack of members. Anastasia….. I sadly shifted my eyes to the back of her. I remember… She wanted to join this club more than any other, and she did next year. But it was a struggle to find enough people interested, and my beloved didn't wind up being the president like I wanted. I can't imagine what she must be feeling right now. In that moment, I had the overwhelming instinct to hug her, embrace her warmly. Had this happened ten years ago in my original timeline, I would have taken her in my arms and assure her I'd take care of it. If the literary club is what she wanted, that's what she got. Instead, I had to settle with this. I couldn't not comfort her- it's in my DNA. I had to touch her… I had to let her know I was here with her, I understood.

My darling flinched all of a sudden as my hand unexpectedly rested on top of her head. True, I didn't know my muscles would move that way either; but it was the best my subconscious could think of. "C-Christian!? W-what are you doing?!" Anastasia gasped, completely scandalized. Our eyes met again, giving me the opportunity to drink her sapphire irises in; such gorgeous eyes, real works of art. My gaze simply, effortlessly lowered onto hers in the calmest fashion, which I think helped her to relax. "It's nothing; I'm sorry," I half-whispered, still refusing to take my hand away. Her hair felt so soft. She gave me one last look before turning back to face the room, and neither of us said anything.

We went to sit back under the tree- our tree- after this unfortunate event. Anastasia was still quiet, so I tried to offer an explanation as comfortingly as possible. It was my idea that she go to the club room after school; I felt guilty for even recommending it now. "I'm sorry, Anny. I forgot the literary club was on hiatus this year. I guess they had too low a membership." "It's alright; I guess I'll join another club," my wife sighed wistfully. Do something, Christian! Your wife is upset. "Uh, h-hey! Don't worry; hiatus means that it can get going again once all the requirements are met," I smiled over at her, hoping to see a glimmer of encouragement in her eyes. She didn't look at me. "But I…." Come on, doofus; you gotta do better than that. "Just hang in there a little bit longer. I'll help you."

Nailed it! There's the smooth-talker that married Anastasia Steele seven years ago; best day of my life. I expected Anastasia to be excited to hear this offer of help from me but was startled when she blinked back at me with slightly suspicious eyes. "I know I've asked you this before, but why are you being so nice to me all of sudden? I mean, you don't even know me." Anastasia, my stare widened unsure how to answer. "I…. I….." No complete sentence came to mind; what was I supposed to say? From her point of view, this probably seems really weird- I can't blame her. A boy who never looked twice at her before was suddenly fawning all over her? Who wouldn't be suspicious? Hmmmm, maybe I can work with that. My wife watched me fold my arms and turn up to the sky, feigning to be ignorant and confused to the situation like her. "Don't know; good question. Just feel like it."

Thank god she bought it; my trusting angel. We got up and she turned to go home, something which my heart skipped another long beat. We'd be parting again and I wouldn't see her until tomorrow at school. But no, I wasn't ready for that kind of separation yet. I only got my wife, my entire life back today; I wasn't emotionally prepared for this again. Just to prolong the interaction, I walked to her street; I wanted to walk her to her front door but didn't want her know that I knew where she lived yet. Though I did, and would be paying her and her family a visit as soon as possible. Anything to be near to her.

It was weird walking down the street with my wife like this. This was the first street we ever held hands on; it was a momentous, enchanting occasion. And I knew then just how much I have lost. Yes, I was once again with Anastasia on this familiar road, but it wasn't the same. I missed holding her hand, curling our fingers around each other. That would come in time, I repeated to myself; just give it time. Everything good will come in time, and I couldn't wait.

I walked Anastasia to the end of her street and we finally parted ways. "I'll leave you here," she said. Each step she took away from me felt like a kick to the stomach. Wanting to run after her, be with her, simply hold her hand. God, this woman; this enchantress. She is so easy to love. _"Hold my hand, Christian. I wanna hold your hand."_ So damn easy. Fate has been cruel to us, despite those happy, glorious years we had together. I looked down at the palm of my right hand, not daring to move my feet. My dearest, darling Anastasia; my wife….. I'm painfully aware of what we've lost. I wish it was me who died; it should have been me. I'd do it a thousand times if only you could…

But then, I have been given a second opportunity at happiness, and more importantly, you've been given a second chance at life again. That made it all worthwhile; those five hellish years without you. I remember that terrible night… The night I lost you, lost our son, lost everything. But Anastasia…. I gazed up at her house down the street. It was a music store on the bottom and home on top. _"No, Christian. You are so easy to love; loving you is the most natural thing in the world to me."_ No, you're wrong, sweetheart. I love you, but you were wrong. And I began to walk towards the store. It was you; that line was meant for you.

Somehow without my ever noticing it, it felt so natural, having Anastasia near.


	7. Family Reunion

I entered the nostalgic threshold and had to take in a deep, deep breath. My eyes shut on their own accord. It was just a plain, old music store, but this had sort of musty smell; like dust that had been there much too long. I remember being annoyed by it at first, but now I thought it was a glorious scent; something that can't be replicated easily.

Here I was, back into the place we once were; somewhere so incredibly precious to me. Oh, how I wish I could have brought my son here- he would have loved it, as his father came to adore it. I slowly, softly entered without making a sound and wandered over to the CD case. This was back before iPods were a huge thing; a lot of people still listened to CDs. Now, one thing about this store was that they specialized in heavy metal, though they never played it actually in the store. Rows upon rows of metal bands; lots with a heavy layer of dust on them. Perhaps it might their business if they expanded on their music genres, but they never did. Oh well; they managed to stay in business, and I paid off the mortgage when I began a billionaire, but that was years away from now.

I was about to reach for a CD- any would work- so I had an excuse for coming here; it might look weird if Anastasia thought I showed up to see her, which I did. Before I touched any, low music started playing throughout the store. It was obviously some niche band which… honestly wasn't very good. And I knew what was happening right away. "Do you like it?"

A smile was already growing on my face as I turned to see Maxim standing beside the counter, also grinning at me. Ah, Maxim; Ray Steele's husband- he was Anastasia's second father. He was the one who ran the shop underneath their house. He was soft, gentle, and very attentive; I couldn't ask for a better partner for Ray. His light hands were pressed together as he looked at me anticipatingly; he had put on the music just now. Let's just say his musical tastes were… interesting. But who cares? Just like Anastasia and Tommy, it felt so undeniably good to be so near him again. This man… My father-in-law.

Knowing exactly what kind of person Maxim was, and how he'd react to whatever I said, I tried not to sound so obvious. My hands shoved into my pockets in a nonchalant manner. "It's an… interesting band," I said. "It is, isn't it?" He took a step towards me, still smiling. Having him come closer, I was once again overwhelmed with the urge to embrace him; this man was a vital and beloved member of my family, after all. My grin unconsciously began to fade as I resisted, which was harder than it sounds. It'd been so long since I hugged anyone in my family- or anyone for the matter, minus my wife earlier. Of course, this made Maxim blink up to me puzzled and a bit worried; even now I was taller than him, but just a bit.

"What's wrong? You don't like it?" Huh? Oh! My hands immediately shot up to calm his nerves. "N-No! No, I think it's ok!" "J-just… ok?" His bottom lip trembled. Oops; shoulda see this coming. "No! I…" "You….. you don't like my music?" He hiccupped softly. "Just a…!" "I can see now why my CD hasn't sold!" Before I could say more, he put his hands over his face and bolted out of the front door- I'm not making that up. Ironically, the same thing happened when we met the first time; Maxim's always been super sensitive about his music. I watched, unsure what to do next. Usually I'd run after him and apologize to him, but that might look creepy if I did that now. Oh well, at least Ray wasn't here to….

"Hey! Did you just insult my husband?!" Oh boy, here we go. I spun right around to see a fuming Ray behind me. My lips naturally curled to a glorious smile. "Hi, Ray," I said delighted, forgetting myself for a moment. Ray- Ray Steele. He was the birth father of Anastasia. Ray was bisexual, though he's always preferred the company of men; Maxim was gay. He didn't marry Anastasia's mother, Clara, and never truly loved her, I think. But he desperately wanted a child and they had an arrangement that they could be work with. Unfortunately, Clara died in childbirth; which in hindsight, should have been a gigantic warning sign for us. Even me alone. Ray got full custody of his one and only child. Two years later, he and Maxim married; they raised Anastasia as an equal child on both sides. Anastasia loved having two fathers, despite them being totally different people.

I honestly loved Ray- everything about him. Aside from my darling wife, he was the closest person to me. Our relationship was… rocky to say the most at first. But eventually we grew to love and care for each other like a real father and son. He was more of a father to me than my own dad, and that has to do with how my stupid parents treated both Ray and Maxim. It was Ray who really took care of me after Anastasia died. He made sure there was food in the kitchen, all my bills were paid, and so on. Maxim cleaned my place for I don't know how long too. They did all that while I spent countless days just lying in bed with the curtains shut.

And I know what you're thinking. But Christian, you're super rich; why didn't you just hire people to do all that instead of making your father-in-laws do it? Because I wanted the closest person with Anastasia's DNA around me; I think it also helped Ray and Maxim too. They lost not only a daughter but their first grandchild. It was an excruciatingly painful time for all of us. And no, I didn't want my own family helping either. My option of Mom and Dad deeply soured when I saw how they viewed my wife's fathers. They were conservative and embarrassed that Anastasia's biological father married another man. Ray and Maxim were not treated well at the wedding, particularly Ray. This enraged me to no end; even now I get mad just thinking about it. It didn't matter what great parents they were to their daughter, or how excited they were to become grandfathers, or how much they truly loved each other. No, them being together and married trumped all that. Well, to hell with that! Especially with their hatred of Ray- you wanna get to him, you'll have to go through me. He's the father of my wife and grandfather of my son: he was my father. Plain and simple.

All of this meant that I was compelled to hug Ray upon first sight. This man; this wonderful, wonderful man. He, on the other hand…. "Hey, how do you know my name?" He demanded, and that's when I noticed the metal bat in his hand. Ah yeah, good old protective Ray; he chased me around with that bat more than once, though he never actually hurt me. He'd never do that. It was all a show, though I didn't know that when we first met. "Uh…. um…." "Ah, who cares?! What did you say to my husband!?" More yelling- god, I missed this.

"I said the music was fine," my hands went up defensively in the air again. "You should have said it was the greatest thing you've ever heard," Ray pointed the top of the bat directly at my exposed chest. "Uh…" "Seriously! Where's your sense of duty, and charity? You little punk! People around here say his music is top notch! It's an unwritten rule; it's the law! So you gotta follow it too- you got that?!" Words cannot describe how much I love Ray; you only meet a character like him once in a lifetime. I knew he'd be surprised when instead of getting all defensive and yelling back, I simply grinned and tilted my head a little. Yes, I knew how to push his buttons, and I loved it.

"Sorry, sir; I'll remember for next time," I said in the calmest voice. Right as rain, he definitely wasn't expecting that. I thought it was cute actually, how protective and caring he was for Maxim. Definitely was an example for me in my relationship. Standing there a bit stunned, Ray took the opportunity to scan me over. "Hey, you're wearing the uniform as our daughter." "Yes, sir." "You wouldn't by any chance be a friend of Anny's?"

Friend, husband, life partner, soulmate, father of her son- take your pick.


	8. Dinner with the Fathers

"You shoulda told me sooner!" Ray laughed beside me at the table. He was at the head with me to his right and Maxim to his left. "I'm sorry I freaked out like that earlier," Maxim told me politely. "Don't worry, babe! He doesn't look too bright; he didn't know the _clear_ rules around here," Ray's head dropped onto of my head, rubbing itself back and forth in the process of messing up my hair. "Oh, honey; you should say about him. He looks like a smart kid to me," like always, Maxim was quick to my rescue.

"In that case, we should celebrate. To think that our daughter finally brought a friend home, you know besides Kate." "Now, dear. Anny has lots of friends at school," these two went on like I wasn't even here. Yup; just like the good old high school days. "I know that, Maxim!" "Then you'll of course know that it's a boy, Ray," his husband shot back.

Ray immediately retracted his hand to glare at me. "What's that?! A boy, you say?" Oh yeah, I forgot how uh, sensitive Ray was to the idea of Anastasia dating anyone. "Awe, what if this charming young man is her new boyfriend?" Maxim swooned, clearly happy for his daughter. Ray, however…. "Huh! Yeah right! You think I'm gonna give Anny over to such a whim?" Uh, yeah? And you do, willingly I might add. Well, "willingly" might be pushing it but you were very enthusiastic about the wedding when the time did come. I had to fight the urge to laugh out loud when he suddenly waved his hand angrily at me.

"Get outta here, kid! Go! Get out!" I knew he didn't mean it. If he had said it to my actual seventeen year old self, I would have been offended, but I knew Ray. He wouldn't let me leave, even if I tried. Knowing this, I decided to have some fun and start to get up, making Maxim gasp in horror. "I'll go then," I said meekly, just waiting for it.

Like clockwork, Ray grabbed hold of my arm and yanked me right back down; his face was much closer to mine now. "You call yourself a man?! How pitiful! If you really are a man, you should grab the girl you love and never, ever let go! Of course, there's no way I'd let you have her," he sat back with a grin, folding his arms. See? Told you; I know this man almost as well as his daughter. And I simply treasured him- him and Maxim. Speaking of which, that's when my supremely perfect wife entered the room.

"Who are you yelling at?" She asked, still drying her wet hair with a towel; she was in her pajamas and had just come from the bath I'm sure. Her tracks abruptly froze when she saw me sitting there at the kitchen table….. with both her fathers. "W-wha-…. What are you doing here, Christian?!" She gasped, already blushing from the fact that I'd seen her in her pjs. I understood this by the way her hands rolled all over herself. They weren't even revealing pjs; a long-sleeved shirt and pants reaching her feet. But Anastasia was shy about intimate article of clothing like pajamas. I couldn't stop myself from smiling; every time she entered the room, I swear it got a little brighter. She made it brighter, this walking sun….

"Hey, sweetheart! Guess who followed you home!" "Anny, you didn't tell us you had such a sweet friend at school." "Who's also a boy. What's up with that?" My darling fumbled, clearly not prepared for these questions. Her hands kept rolling over her pajama top, which looked utterly adorable on her I might add. "He's not my friend….. well, kind of… it's….. it's complicated." "Huh? Well you're figuring it out, why don't you make us some of your famous tea? No one makes it like our Anny," Ray said to me. Oh, do I know it; she was the official "tea-maker" in our house. With a frown, she did as Ray asked and made four cups brimming with Sencha green tea. I watched her wistfully the whole time, unable to take my eyes off her. Maxim said something to me in the meanwhile, which I didn't hear.

"Glad to see you're making friends," my wife scowled as she brought over the full cups. I didn't blame her for the attitude; this probably looked pretty weird. The same man who hugged you out of nowhere at school today was now in your kitchen with your dads, also very unexpectedly. "Of course we are! I wouldn't treat any of my daughter's friends like they were strangers!" Ray announced, totally missing the sarcasm in her tone. This made Maxim beam brilliantly at his husband. "Oh, honey! You're so good to guests!" He swooned over Ray, which he gloried in profusely. Even Anastasia sighed and decided to drop it, though I got the feel we'd discuss it later. She then sat down between Maxim and me.

"Darling, aren't you going to properly introduce us to your friend now?" Maxim proceeded to ask his daughter. She looked at me and let out another sigh. "This is Christian Grey; my… friend from high school." "Christian Grey? What kind of pokey name is that?" Ray folded his arms once more. "Now, dear," Maxim cooed to his beloved husband. "Why are you here again, Christian?" My precious one whispered a little too loudly over to me. Oh, I don't what she's whispering, so long as she's whispering it to me.

"Your friend was visiting our music store, Anny," Maxim answered before I had the chance to say anything. "Music store?" My wife blinked to him confused. "He made an off-hand remark to your father's music; something which I'm sure won't happen again," Ray cut in. "Daddy's music? Oooooooooh," things suddenly seemed to click for her. She knew her fathers too and understood that an "off-hand remark" could mean literally anything. I was so grateful when she looked at me with softer eyes this time. "Sorry about that," she actually apologized to me. "Oh, no! It's no trouble!" Of course, my hands shot up worriedly.

"Course it's no trouble! Not every day you get to come into the Steele's residence, drink our tea, talk to our daughter, eat our food… Speaking of food, do we got any grub around here? I'm starving!" Ray's arms fell back behind his chair. "I'll whip something up for us, darling. Could you give me a hand, Anny?" "Sure thing, Daddy." Daddy- she called both Ray and Maxim "Daddy". I never got how they did it, but they always knew which one she was referring to just by calling "Daddy!". They always did, and I still can't explain it to this day.

While they both got up to go over to the kitchen counter, I turned to Ray. "Uh, may I use your bathroom, sir?" He likes being called "sir". Ray eyed me suspiciously for a moment before sticking his thumb out. "Down the hall," he said flatly. "Thanks," I already knew where it was but thought it polite to ask first.

On my way back, I stopped by Anastasia's room; the door was open. Knowing it was rude and would look beyond creepy if I was caught inside, but I couldn't help but go inside. I stepped in and a glorious, loving pain coiled around my heart. This room was dripping Anastasia Steele. Everything in here screamed my wife. The pink walls and carpet on the floor; teaware on her desk; countless books; tones of pillows; and lots of stuffed animals. Originally, I thought this room was too girly but now…. I went to the center of the room, just soaking in the atmosphere. God, it even smelt like her… Just like our house used to.

Gently, longingly scanning around, my vision halted on this gigantic highland cow on my wife's bed. That was her favorite stuffed animal; the one she slept with every night up until we got married. I don't know why a highland cow of all things, but Anastasia utterly adored it. We were even going to give it to our son, she was so excited… I won't lie, my eyes were watering up as I continued to stare at it. Something compelled me to wordlessly approach the toy. With a tear dripping down my cheek, I picked it up and held it so close to me; both my arms wrapped tightly around it. It smelt so, so good; just like her. Theodore would have loved this just as much as his mother. Theodore….. My arms began to tremble as I buried my moist face into the cow's head. Anastasia…. Anastasia.

We ate our first make-shift dinner that night. Ray and Maxim would laugh and feed each other, being all happy and playful like usual. Even Anastasia was loosening up- thank god. My heart stopped each time she smiled at me; sometimes accidentally, sometimes on purpose. I ate quietly, merely enjoying the situation. Ah….. this- this is what life is made of, I thought as I took another bite of a piece of chicken. This setting felt so real, so close to my heart; something I'd experienced countless times before and honestly forgot how much I relished. I appreciated it- them. Every single minute and motion of theirs. The way Ray's mouth moved when he laughed, how Maxim would hold his fork out and bring his mouth to it, and Anastasia… Simply, perfectly Anastasia.

This was the kind of family I wanted to bring my son into; and this was the kind of family I wanted to belong in. They loved each other unconditionally, and I loved them; they would eventually love me too. I mean, who wouldn't love them- just look at them. Look at me wife. Our eyes locked the next time this goddess turned my way. She smiled, which of course I mirrored. And that's when I remember….. I remember feeling truly, completely, purely _happy _for the first time too many years. Yes, there she was; she was my life- this was my life. She brought color into my otherwise bleak world. She was like a song which never stopped playing, and I could listen for all eternity. We belonged together; we all did. I mean, what else can I say? In all reality this is my chance to start over, even with someone new if I wanted. But the thought never crossed my mind- not once. I'm so lucky in that regard…

If I could have anyone else in the world, it would still be her; without hesitation, always her.


	9. The Annoying Elena Lincoln

"_Hey! Hey, Christian! Christian! I felt a kick! A real kick! It's amazing! Do you wanna feel?" _

My eyes slowly opened to let in the bright sunlight shining in the window beside me. Anastasia…. I was in such a daze just there that I had forgotten what I was supposed to be doing in class. It was history- one class my wife and I didn't share. It was the strangest thing. Even before I became "seventeen again", my mind would slip off into the random moments of the past. Sometimes pleasant, sometimes not… I had no conscious control over what memory I would experience; it was just there, like an imprint on me, my essence. It was a part of my essence…. My eyes peered out the window as I leaned back in my seat. The recollection of the scent of Anastasia's stuffed highland cow rushed over my senses. She's part of my essence…

"Alright, class! We're going to have a ten minute break while I go print off the tests. When I get back, we'll have a review," the teacher- I don't remember his name- suddenly announced. He was a bigger fellow who was kind of short, had a mustache, and wore thick glasses; he was also clearly balding. This caught my attention as he suddenly exited through the door, leaving all us sophomores there alone. Tommy took the opportunity to lean over to my desk; his was beside mine. "Hey, Grey? Guess what. One of the guys on my floor got a porno from his older brother; Ass Ventura Crack Detective. Wanna come over to my place and watch it with us?"

Now, the real seventeen year old me would have jumped at the chance, which made me simultaneously internally cringe and burst out laughing. I'm ashamed to say that I used to watch my fair share of porn back in my day. But now I had absolutely no interest in any of that; no porn actor could hold a candle to my lovely wife. Still, I knew what reaction I would get if I politely denied the request; the mocking would be extreme. I should know- I did it to others; before I met Anastasia of course! I'll be the first to admit I wasn't the best kid in high school. But I really, really didn't want to sit through… heh, Ass Venture in an all-boys' building with a bunch of other horny guys; I was passed that stage in my life. Though I couldn't say that out loud. I was about to make up some lame excuse to give my dear best friend when all of a sudden….

"Hi, Christian," we both turned to see a blonde haired girl approach my desk from the front. It took me half a second to recognize her, and by then she arrived at us. My eyes widened when Elena had the audacity to sit on my desk, her skirt going everywhere all over my papers and stuff. She put her hand down and twisted in such a way so to face me directly. And believe me, I wasn't smiling; neither was she.

"Thanks for calling me back last night," she didn't hold back any of her entitled attitude. "I didn't," I answered flatly, unimpressed. "I know. It's almost like I called your house three times last night and Mia said you were out." My parents weren't home when I got back last night; they weren't around much in high school, spending a lot of their free time with their rich, snooty friends. My frown deepened, already seeing where this conversation was heading- if you could call it that. Tommy didn't say anything, continuously glancing between me and Elena a bit confused and nervous.

"So, where were you?" Elena asked with that fake half-smirk of hers. I knew what this was code for: were you with another girl? I had no reason to tell her so, and I wanted to make that clear to her. My arms folded defiantly as our eyes met sternly. "That's none of your business," I declared, using my dominant voice- the one Anastasia utterly loves. Elena, on the other hand…

Shock filled her entire face, which is understandable. She's very attractive- I'll give her that much. Elena never chased any guys in high school, well besides me but only very lightly; she was used to boys and eventually men throwing themselves at her. Being so bluntly told off was a new situation for her- very new. Well, at least it was now; she'd get used to it in time. That fact gave me some slight satisfaction. But for now, she went from bewildered to composed again in like a second flat. She huffed, blinked away for a moment, then gave me one of those "you better give me some answers" glare.

"I'm sorry, I believe I asked you a question, Christian," oh the tone of her voice just now. Well if she wants to play this way. And I think my attitude is part of the problem here. I don't just bend over backwards to treat just any woman like a queen. The only reason I worship at Anastasia's- my one and only wife- feet is because she's not one of those "if you want a queen, you better treat her like one" entitled brats. But that's part of my downfall too. Girls like Elena say they want a man who treats them like royalty, but ironically pursue men who don't. I have a dominant personality, which meshes perfectly with Anastasia's submissive character traits. But for Elena, who is also dominant, she sees me as a challenge; someone to tame and save. Yeah- no thank you. If you want someone to stand up to you, berate the principal and see what happens. I'm not interested in any of your games.

"I heard you. And would you mind getting off my desk? Since you didn't bother to ask if you could sit on it in the first place." Ok, now the class's reaction to this was hilarious; I would have laughed if I wasn't trying to look so serious. By now there was a sizeable crowd of students gathering around to watch the "drama", and a collective gasp was let out after I said this. The look on Elena's face was priceless; I'd never seen her eyes grow so wide. Some of the guys gawked at me like I was crazy; they'd give anything to have a girl like Elena sit on their desks. Tommy's mouth fell open but no words came out. And some girls paradoxically started swooning. I guess seeing me turn down Elena- the quote "hot girl"- with such vigor was bewitching… somehow.

"What did you just say to me?" Her voice….. oh, her irate voice. "You heard me." "Dude, what's your problem?" Some random guy cut in. "Christian, is this about Anny?" Tommy whispered over to me a little too loudly. Now this set something off in Elena's brain, but it got her to jump off my desk at least. "Anny?" One of the bystander girls asked another curiously. "Oh! You mean that chick you groped in the hall yesterday?" One guy's fingers snapped. I don't think Elena could have shot me a more enraged glare. "You groped someone?!" "No, I did not!" I shot back, feeling my own patience beginning to wane; I was too old for this, mentally.

"Anny? Wait… you mean that girl from class B?" I could see the wheels start to crank in her head. Now, Elena never outright bullied Anastasia in high school or university, but the two certainly didn't like each other. Elena could never understand why a guy like me would ever choose a goddess like my wife, though that right there should answer it. She fired all the venom she could in her next glare at me.

"You like Anny?!" Another round of gasps throughout the classroom. Ugh, how long does it take to print some papers, Mr. Teacher? I inwardly groaned but didn't have time to reply. "What's your deal, Grey?! I thought you were going to ask me out! Remember going out last week?!" Jesus, talk about making a scene. "It was for frozen yogurt, and I don't remember making you any promises," I actually don't really remember going anywhere with her; I'm working off of what Tommy told me.

"Christian!" Tommy gasped out loud. "You player!" Another guy shouted, like this was some sort of insult. "Yeah well, if you didn't want to date me, why'd you bother giving me your number at all? I'm not some booty call, Christian!" "Oh, you don't have to worry about that," I had the nerve to flash a side smirk. Ok, maybe that was a little too far on my part, but I'm not used to all this pointless, unnecessary drama. Of course, Elena gasped like this was the worst thing anyone had said to her, and I think she was starting to realize that she wouldn't win this fight.

I know she must have understood this because her whole demeaner suddenly changed. Her expression got softer and she clasped her hands in front of her all innocent-like. Needless to say, I wasn't buying it. But the other teenage idiots in the room…. "Ok, so maybe you need some time- whatever. Listen, Christian; I'll wait but not too long. I'm not a patient woman." Jesus Christ. Here's a little tip for all you guys out there: if a woman says this to you, believe her. Take her word for it and nope the heck outta there. Trust me, in a sea full of fish like Elena, there's a mermaid like Anastasia waiting for you. You just gotta take all the fish off your hooks first.

"Look, Elena; I'll be honest with you. I'd advise not waiting around for me cause this is never gonna happen," I said as bluntly as possible. Of course, to no surprise, she didn't believe a word of it. If anything, she took it as a challenge- you know, like a moron. Guess no doesn't mean "no" in her world. "You're lucky I'm willing to wait for you at all. I mean, come on," she ran her hands along her curves, like this was showing me something. My expression remained deadpan, which she willfully chose to ignore. If I wasn't such a gentleman, I would have asked if she was trying to prove anything; though that might come back to bite me more than her, come to think of it.

I also had the sneaking suspicion that this wouldn't be my last interaction with the not-so-serene Elena Lincoln; the princess of the whole high school. My god, words can't describe how done I am with girls like. I wasn't looking for someone to wait on; I wanted and had a true partner in life. It couldn't get any better than I already had. And besides….

I wouldn't call Anastasia a "queen"; she's far more great.


	10. So Near Her

I'll admit it. I still felt incredibly anxious when I wasn't around Anastasia. It was like I just needed to see her with my own eyes- know that she was safe and happy. And if that sounds stockerish, let me remind you: the last time I saw my wife was her bleeding out on a hospital bed while our dead son was brought out of the room. I don't really remember that night too well to be honest; when I try and think of it, my mind just comes up with the color and smell of blood- so much blood. With that in mind, it's no wonder I grew more protective of my darling by the second.

Everywhere I went, my eyes searched for her; hoping, praying for a glimpse. That was my mini holiday for me; I look into her beautiful blue eyes and I go on a vacation. Where could she be? I pondered as I wandered swiftly through the hallway. My nerves all instinctively calmed when I caught sight of her sitting on her usual bench under the massive oak tree in the courtyard. A smile crept across my face as I didn't hesitate to head straight to the door. Act casual, I told myself over and over. Gotta act casual and not creepy about last night. Of course my brilliant smile disappeared the moment I saw her frowning upon my arrival. She wasn't frowning that I was there per se; no, it was something else. And like clockwork, my brain went into automatic repair-mode.

"Anast-… Anny! Are you alright? What's wrong? Did something happen to you today?" Anastasia blinked at me astonished by my tirade of concerned questions; I didn't even bother to say hi first. Then the lines on her face softened, much like Ray did when he calmed down. "Oh hi, Christian…. No, it's nothing." It's clearly not nothing; you're upset and I'd like to help fix whatever's wrong as soon as possible. But I knew I couldn't say that without looking like some stocker monster. I'd try a different route.

"Did something happen with the literary club?" Anastasia pursed her lips together and didn't look at me. I took the opportunity to take the seat down beside her. Ok, Christian- time to make your beloved wife smile again asap! "Is it about the lack of members? Is that the problem?" I said more gently this time. A swell of small success ballooned in my chest as her head gave a little nod. "Well, that's ok! We can fix that." "How?" This angel finally peered over to me again. Her gaze upon me… and Sartre said hell is other people. He's obviously never met someone like Anastasia before. I ripely smiled back at her.

"Ok, here's my thought. We'll get more members to join if we put up a recruitment sign." "Ok," she began to light up, giving me inspiration to keep going. "But we should probably wait until after Easter break." "Alright," she turned right to me with a much happier expression. That's when I remembered… She agreed to everything I had said just now; just like she always had. I used to think that Anastasia was naturally submissive, which she is to an extent. But more than that, I think she truly trusted me; she trusted me to do what was right, not just for us but for everyone. My trusted my moral code and judgements; that's why she was always so willing to do whatever I'd advise. And it's not that Anastasia was blindly following me either. I think she assessed my character and decided that I was trustworthy…. I would always put her best interests first without fail- every single time. God….. If the sky was made of paper and the sea of ink, I could not begin to write my love for her.

Right then I couldn't help myself. I genuinely smiled at her, wanting nothing more than to reach out and take her hand in mine; if I had, then I would have been complete physically. Instead I had to settle with merely observing her, absorbing her essence like a sponge. "Uh, Christian?" Anastasia's confusion didn't stop my staring. "Don't worry, I'll help you make the posters," I heard myself say, unconscious of my words at the moment. What I really wanted to say I couldn't; not at the moment at least. "You will?!" She beemed, happy and grateful at my willingness to help her out with this project. I nodded and couldn't stop myself… I had to say something, I just had to; the love and admiration was just building up inside me too much.

"Yup! I'll even add the line that the most beautiful and sweet club leader in the school will be there and waiting for you." This made Anastasia just stare blankly at me for a minute; I don't think it clicked right away. Oh man, her stunned and puzzled reaction was priceless, but it was true- all absolutely true. Then her eyes grew in surprise. "Most beautiful….? Hey! You don't mean me, do you?" I had to laugh; of course I meant her. "Well who else would I be talking about?" I grinned, still pleased with her response.

"W-wha-…. What are you talking about?! I'm not the most beautiful club leader on campus!" She declared, like she knew what all other leaders looked like. But neither of us needed to; I already knew. Half-expecting her to act like this, I folded my arms and gave an equally half-hearted rationale for my heh, offhanded compliment. "Think about it. If I write that, some of dumb guys who still need to join clubs will take the bait," ok, that was a lie. I didn't want those kinds of mindless idiots driven by their dicks anywhere near my wife. And they wouldn't be; not while I'm around. But it was the best I could think of at the moment. I paid how much for my extensive university education again? Times like this made me truly wonder if it was worth it.

Luckily for me, Anastasia appeared to take it. She let out a sigh and gazed out at the concrete in front of our feet. "There's something else you said…." "What's that?" "That I'm the club leader." "Aren't you?" This caught me off guard; she was the club leader in grade twelve back in my original timeline. I just took it for granted that it would be the same here too. "You should be the club leader," I blinked when she suddenly looked over at me- intently, I might add. "Me? Oh, but Anny, you'd make such a better leader." "How do you know? I hate leading… I really don't like being in charge of anything or anyone. It should be you, Christian; besides, I think people will listen to you more."

My darling wife had a point. I wasn't blind to sexism, even between high schoolers. People treated us differently in positions of leadership. Though that may also have something to do with my dominant and her submissive personalities. Anastasia was very obedient, and I don't mean that as an insult. Not at all! It actually helped her a lot in postgrad; supervisors loved working with her because she was so easy to work with. Let's just say that she didn't have an ego that got in the way of her success. Once again too, she wasn't a pushover either; she just preferred following orders than giving them. She'd always been like that from what I could see. Still, she did her job as leader of the literature club very well back in the day; I knew she was good at it. My dear Anastasia just needed some gentle encouragement, that's all. And that's when my dominant nature took the wheel- if she loved anything, it was me being dominant in a kind, caring way to her.

"Anny," I said in a firm yet sincere, low tone. Anastasia turned to face me, ready to listen to what I had to say. Once I had her eyes on me, I straightened up a bit, ready to go in for the kill. Watch this- you'll see just how well I know my wife, even at seventeen.

"I know you haven't led a club before and it might seem a little scary now, but I think you should be club leader." "I….." She started but didn't get far, her words trailing off into nowhere as did her eyes. "It's the leader who gets to make all the big decisions for the club, and I know you'll make the right ones." "How can you be so sure?" Anastasia asked, her will deflating by the second. I saw my window of opportunity. "There are books you want to read, aren't there? Come on now, get cracking. Just start by choosing whatever slogan you want for the poster; I'm sure it'll be amazing. Think of that as your first executive decision," I folded my arms for emphasis.

Anastasia considered for a second longer before grinning up at me. "Alright, I guess I can do it….. until the club gets established at least." See? Do I know my wife or what? We smiled at each other and I snuck a peek into her eyes. There it was- my mini-vacation. I was afraid I'd be there forever if I didn't look away soon; not that I would mind. No, darling; worry not about anything. As one of your favorite singers, Edith Piaf, sang: we shall spend eternity together…

In the blue sky of all immensity.


	11. Gym Class

"Alright, you weenies! Get in line!" It was going to rain later that afternoon. While everyone in our gym class rushed to form a single-file line, I was staring out the window at the top of the gymnasium thinking about the literary club. How can I help out? How can I help her? My eyes lowered gently. How can I make her happy?

"Grey! You deaf over there?!" Coach's bellowing voice suddenly made me flinch, breaking my train of thought. He was towering there, tapping his foot incessantly on the smooth floor. "Get over here!" His thumb shot out at the rest of the class when I failed to verbally respond. I'd been physically seventeen years old for the last week or so but was still getting used to adults telling me what to do. As the CEO of my own company, I certainly wasn't accustomed to being ordered around so much. I quickly did as I was told and fell into my place in line before the second wave of students clamored into the gym.

"It's about time you guys got here! Line up!" All my senses immediately heightened when I saw my faultless angel enter. We only had gym class once and a while, so I'd forgotten that we were in the same class this year; I don't remember if we were in grade twelve. Anastasia saw me, smiled, and gave a precious little wave. Then she joined Kate's side in a line opposite ours. While I was elated to see her, Coach looked less than impressed.

"You're all late, again!" "Sorry, Coach Lederhosen. Mr. Coffin made the whole class stay behind," one girl offered. Mr. Coffin? What did he teach? I recognized the name but never had him as a teacher. I guess Anastasia did though. "No excuses! Now, listen up! We're gonna run laps today; no complaining!" Of course the room filled with groans and moans of all sorts. "I said no complaining! Anyone who doesn't finish their laps by half past two gets to participate in a round of dodge ball!" Even more wary groans. This made me think for a moment. At the time, I thought Coach was allowed to talk to and treat us like that, but now my adult mind has serious reservations. I'd never let my son be in his class; that's for sure. But I don't remember complaining to my parents while in high school either.

"Do I make myself clear, ladies?" Coach then directed to my wife's line, frowning and planting his wide hands on his hips. Kate rolled her eyes, but Anastasia looked a bit nervous. Hey, that's right! My own anxiety began to rise. Despite being a very good student, Anastasia never did well in gym class. I remember her telling me once that she almost failed when she couldn't run fast in a game of baseball back in ninth grade. This man was not only asking but expecting my poor wife to run laps? In the hot sun? In her fragile condition? Oh, hell no. Not today, Mr. Lederhosen; we'll see about this! And for one of a number of times, I forgot that my mature mind was stuck in this immature body when my hand suddenly shot up.

Everyone looked, including Coach. "Problem, Grey?" Oh, shit; I should have formulated a coherent argument before I intervened. Still, I wanted to address Anastasia's weakened condition- which she didn't know I had knowledge of yet- without directly referring to her, so to save her from embarrassment. "Does everyone have to run laps, sir?" "Sir? You makin' fun of me, boy?" His broad head leaned in closer to mine. "Of course not! My thought is maybe we could have two options: run laps or do something else?" "Uh huh. And what "something else" did you have in mind?" His tone was an intimidating as you can imagine it to be. I shrugged, trying not to look too desperate. "Dancing?" I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, not realizing that I might have put Anastasia in the position to dance with another guy.

"You trying to get out hard work, Grey? Well, it won't work! Everyone sweats in my class! Now, get out those doors and running around the field! I wanna see you glisten, people!" Ok… That didn't work. I ran close by Anastasia, who was currently running with Kate. They were near the back of the crowd where my wife could take her time- somewhat. "Hey, Christian! Come on, let's catch up with the other guys!" Tommy called out for me. "Uh, yeah," I hurried up a little but wanted to keep Anastasia; she seemed to be doing alright for the moment, but I wanted to make sure it stayed that way.

"Let's hurry it up, ladies!" God, stop yelling at them; she's obviously doing her best. "Ha! Bet I can beat you around the track, Kate!" One guy named Braddon challenged Kate. "Like I would race you!" She shot back. Anastasia gave her a small wave. "It's ok, Kate. You can go if you want." "Yeah, but what if you collapse like last time?" Last time?! How did I not notice Anastasia struggling in PE all those years ago? I mean, how blind can I be? And Kate's got a very valid point too.

"What's the matter, Katie? Afraid you'll lose or something?" "Shove off, Braddon! I'm running with Anny!" "Wanna race, Grey?" I flinched mid-step when Tommy asked me this out of the blue; I suppose he got the idea from them. He grinned at me, completely unaware of my concern for Anastasia or her fragile condition. "Uh, no…. Let's just coast…. Or Coach will make us run more laps," I tacked on when he gave me a confused stare.

"You better speed it up back there, missy!" Maybe if I talk to Ray and Maxim, they can get this jerk fired, I pondered while firing Coach a death glare. Stop rushing my wife! You want her to collapse again? How is he even allowed to treat her like that after she's been affected by his class before? Pretty sure what he's doing is illegal! Luckily, everyone had the good sense not to tease Anastasia and simultaneously get clocked by me. Now there was just Coach to worry about; couldn't punch him in the face- mostly because I think his cold, stone face would break my hand.

My heart skipped a premature beat as Anastasia's feet came to a halt. She was gasping by now and resting her hands on her kneecaps. Kate wore this worried expression too. "Are you ok, Anny?" "I'm 'gasp' fine 'gasp'." Clearly not, my frown widened. "Is there a problem, Miss Steele?" You-know-who barged over to tower in front of the girls. "She's tired, Coach Lederhosen. Can we have like a little rest?" "Rest? Rest is for wimps! Get going!" "Could I 'gasp' at least 'gasp' get a drink?" "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, missy."

Ok, enough's enough. My darling is obviously suffering and knowing Coach, he'll likely make her play dodge ball as punishment for not completing her laps. Time to fight stubbornness with stubbornness. And this made work meeting look like a piece of cake. I stomped right over to the trio, shooting Coach as insidious glare.

"Grey! Why aren't you running?!" "Christian?" Anastasia blinked up at me curiously. "Sir, I think she's run enough." "Who? Anny?" Kate seemed just as puzzled. "Who do you think you are, Grey?! I'm the teacher here!" Gee, I couldn't tell; insert eyeroll here. But I held my resolve. "N-No! I'm fine, really Christian," though her voice was still breathless. "Listen here, boy. I decide what goes on around here. If I say run, you go until I tell you to stop; understand?" "I'll run as much as you want, but don't make her go any further," I countered. "Christian," both Kate and my wife's eyes grew in astonishment and slight awe. God, I love it when she swoons over me; if that doesn't sound too egoistic. Coach Lederhosen however….

"Ah, she's fine. Aren't ya, Miss Steele?" Anastasia visibly shuttered as he shot his intense eyes over to her. She was clearly afraid of him and with good reason; he didn't baby her like I'd want. Some gym teacher. "W-well, actually sir… I will be once I get a drink of water…. please," she sounded as terrified as she looked. "Water is for sissies!" "Yes," I spoke over Coach. Once again, all eyes were on me- more profound this time. "Excuse me?!" Coach hollered my way. But I didn't turn away from my amazed wife, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. She was looking straight at me, after all…

"Go and get some water," and rest too if you can manage it. "Uh….. can he do that?" Kate asked no one in particular. But Anastasia didn't stick around to hear the answer; she took Coach's stunned opportunity to rush to her water bottle inside. Afterwards Kate ogled me with bewilderment and Coach…. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Grey. But you've wasted thirty seconds! Now you're gonna run and sweat; you're gonna soak til you're sick. You got that?!" "But Coach Lederhosen; it's almost two forty-five," Kate, my savoir for the afternoon, interjected.

Coach gritted his teeth knowing we'd have to go in for showers soon. "You win this round, Grey. But believe you me, I'm gonna make your life a living hell this day forward. Alright, you people! Get inside! We still got a game of dodge ball to settle!" All his students moaned loudly as they made their way to the doors. Before going myself, Kate stopped me by taking hold of my hand. My eyes shifted from that to her kind face; she was smiling.

"Thank you, Christian. You probably don't know this, but Anny's got a weak immune system and gets tired easily. All the teachers know about it but some like Coach don't care." Don't care? How could they not care about the condition that took my wife's life during childbirth? It was definitely something to care about, especially if you're a gym teacher. But I mirrored Kate's pleased expression.

"It's nothing," not true, but I didn't know what else to say. What could I say without giving myself away? "It's not nothing; Anny might have collapsed if you hadn't intervened. You know how Coach is." Someone I have to try and do away with, yes. I simply nodded, still unsure what to say. "I thought you didn't care about Anny, but you know… thanks." Oh, there was nothing to thank me for. And that's when I realized how our different situations, experiences, and ages can alter our perceptions. If you asked me in my thirty year old body, I would have said that this wasn't even a problem because I could deal with it so effortlessly. But in my teenage body, I didn't have the resources or connections that I previously did. So yes, I suppose for seventeen-year-old me, this was a big deal. Hell….

Any threat to my wife is of ultimate paramount to me now; nothing is too small. Not when it comes to her.


End file.
